He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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