ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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