I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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