its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize