I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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