Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
