p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
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