moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
