You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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