I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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