State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
im holly from the hills drunk
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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