Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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