She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
