So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
She's JV to your varsity
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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