Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
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