yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Just puked most of my soul out..
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
