just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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