I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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