In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
either way he was missing a nipple.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Randomize
