Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
and you said cock pushups were impossible
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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