So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You made out with two different species that night
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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