how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize