Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
another moral hangover. fuck.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
