The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
