Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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