Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
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