why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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