So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
So. Much. Porn.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
