You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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