Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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