We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
