yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
