too bad you live with your parents still
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
