That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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