I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
