Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
This is not my ceiling
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
