So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
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he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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