so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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