You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
My vagina just clenched in fear
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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