Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
porn star boner night. come get it.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
