That's when you crack a 10am beer
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
