I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
