I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
