oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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