i was born a porn star she said
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize