I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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