yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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