Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
