Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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