I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
