so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize