and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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