Texts From Last Night

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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  and on the seventh day, God created megan fox

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  (306): and on the seventh day, God created megan fox http://tfl.nu/yceo
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.

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  (443): apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar. http://tfl.nu/z209
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom

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  (504): Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom http://tfl.nu/9j8t
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  (845): View more from New York

  its like an ocean threw up right in your lap

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  (845): its like an ocean threw up right in your lap http://tfl.nu/b2xa
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  (806): View more from Texas

  This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.

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  (806): This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night. http://tfl.nu/k0hc
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to

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  (720): What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to http://tfl.nu/xbm0
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before

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  (214): Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before http://tfl.nu/lurw
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  ...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos

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  (908): ...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos http://tfl.nu/7o3l
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  (707): View more from California

  I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor

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  (707): I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor http://tfl.nu/hlsl
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  (409): View more from Texas

  We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.

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  (409): We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team. http://tfl.nu/iz22
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  (917): View more from New York City

  And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body

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  (917): And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body http://tfl.nu/ilms
  Replies (13) Good night (829) Bad night (2611)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?

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  (256): Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August. (662): Dude, how the hell did you become an RA? http://tfl.nu/0n3i
  Replies (6) Good night (3892) Bad night (780)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.

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  (937): Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule. http://tfl.nu/t3gw
  Replies (6) Good night (1306) Bad night (495)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."

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  (515): My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches." http://tfl.nu/3hga
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.

  (858): View more from California

  I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.

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  (224): I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman. (858): I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect. http://tfl.nu/7efm
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