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and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
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