I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
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Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED