Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.