All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor