oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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