mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize