just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i was born a porn star she said
he puts the penis in happiness.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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