I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
